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Raven C. Waters

The Urgent Life



Similar to Welteroth, I discovered Bozoma Saint John through the digital marketing she was doing for this book.


Immediately I became enamored. Considerably established business woman with an intensity that shines so bright. Following closely on IG, anyone can see that Bozoma is a secure, bold woman. Loudly proclaiming that she lvies this life for herself and no one else - not even her daughter.


Personally, that statement was a revelation. I hold such resentment for my parent's operating with a similar mindset. And while Bozoma has better boundaries within that claim than my parents could establish - it was a needed reminder. Cosigned by my therapist today.


THIS is MY life.


It's time to get selfish. Disregard the fear's of how I'll be perceived. I can no longer care. This chapter - this is all for me.


Thank you.



Bozoma Words I Loved...

* This was borrowed from the BK library so I couldn't highlight as much as I normally would*

C1 - The Beginning and the End

  • ".. said I could handle it. But couldn't I? To find out, I'd have to face it first." (5)

  • "I did have some power, the power to look at the situation and decide what to do about it, the power to figure out the best way to respond." (5)

C2 - Common Ground

  • ".. how to cope with bone-deep fear and loss... but... had to focus on a higher purpose and barrel through" (23)

C9 - The In-Between

  • "And yet I didn't want Lael to grow up knowing this version of me, the version that was frighted and insure. I wanted her to know the Boz ... certain that she could carve her future into the shape of her dreams. Somehow, I knew she'd never know that person if I stayed" (192)

  • "...ultimately you have to live in your truth, even when it breaks two hearts. At that moment, I felt I had to leave so I could continue to breathe, so I could continue to be." (192)

  • "'I try to hold you, but you just keep slipping through my fingers.' I understood what he meant. But I didn't want him to try anymore." (192)

This chapter ending was very accurate for me. This struggle with knowing you're leaving love and support, because for some reason that doesn't have to be known, it won't serve the woman I'm trying to be. My prayer for self was that it wouldn't take having a baby to get that understanding. In therapy today, I noted this feeling of a mid life crisis. For whatever reason, I've lived on such a fast track and so, without the material experiences, I'm still experincing this natural, spiritual warfare. At 26. How blessed. Because I'm going to get it - and there's no stopping a secure woman with a vision.


• 30 September 2023 | Brooklyn, NYC • 

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