It's been a remarkable journey in this stillness
Over 10 years I've worked consistently
rooted in the need for money
then the greed for it
then the status of a career
then at 25 in a disgusting work environment
it was clear as my days
you can not donate energy to a non-reciprocating, draining, pillar of your current life
I was losing too much
to something I relied on too heavily
so I sat down and wrote
as usual
to get clear on what was missing
what needed more attention
what fogginess I still held towards certain dreams
any win in this time is a win
any step is a step in ray's right direction
What did I want to be intentional about
what did I leave room to just let happen
and so now heading into my second month, I remain
extremely proud of myself
the only anxiety wave I feel is in relation to money
which is immediately calmed by the knowing of all I have saved
and all the ways in which money could come if I truly needed it
my unwillingness to devote much time to anything on that path
continues to remind me
that is not where my focus is needed right now
I need to continue to have my attention on Ray's Waters
honr=oring small dreams
small wishes
seeing what happens when I do so
And wow -
I am so happy to continue to have these moments I know
are a rewriting
a decision to choose differently
be different
because that's what I want to call in
difference
that reminds me of home
me of me
the woman I am
the soul I play within
the world I bounce around
the beauty